Lets try this again!

The reason I've been a bit quiet on the blog is because I found out last Thursday that we are pregnant!  I had tested the day before and gotten a negative, so I wasn't planning on testing again for a few days, but that POAS urge is pretty strong (and I'm a pansy that can't resist).  This time I was smart and didn't throw out my ummm, sample, so when I saw a faint glimmer of a line I tested again and definitely saw something there as well.  Since I had two digitals, I figured I'd try one (since there was no way Husband would believe there was a line) and if it was negative I'd just test again in the morning.  It took a lot longer to come up this time than it did last time, but when it did, it said PREGNANT!

I thought about trying to do something different this time around to tell Husband but since I hadn't really been expecting a positive I didn't have a lot of time to think haha.  And so, I threw the "Big Brother" shirt on our dog- the "Big Sister" wasn't being too cooperative- and let him outside where Husband was mowing.  I watched from the inside window and could hear Husband asking, "what is that?", and then breaking into a big grin.  Pretty sure his smile just got bigger when I showed him our positive test!

Unfortunately, along with our excitement was a lot of fear.  I don't want to say it clouded the moment, it just... changed it.  Every time we talk about the baby, it's with the caution of if we get to keep it.  In fact, we haven't really even talked about it very much.  It's for this reason I didn't share it on here as soon as we knew.  It doesn't feel as real yet, and I'm trying hard to be prepared for the worst.  Maybe that's a bad way of doing it, but it's all I can handle right now.

That being said, I'm four weeks today, and I go in for my first Dr appointment this afternoon for a blood draw!  I've been taking pregnancy tests everyday (sometimes more than once a day), and the line keeps getting darker.  Also, I've kept charting, and my temps are still high, so I think those are both good signs.  I did have some cramping and lower back pain last night, and a little bit today, but there's nothing I can really do other than pray, and ask you all to pray as well:)